So Long, Lonesome

“We are all going, I thought, and it applies to turtles and turtlenecks, Alaska the girl and Alaska the place, because nothing can last, not even the earth itself. The Buddha said that suffering was caused by desire, we’d learned, and that the cessation of desire meant the cessation of suffering. When you stopped wishing things wouldn’t fall apart, you’d stop suffering when they did.”

Story of my life.

“Dying inside, but outside I’m looking fearless.”

(via kushandwizdom)

(via etiquetteforalady)

Looking out into the cityscape :) Here’s to new beginnings <3

Today, there was an addition to heaven- my aunt. She was one of the strongest women I knew next to my mother and grandmothers. Life took away from her, pushed her to her knees, kicked her while she was down, threw her obstacle after obstacle, and yet she still found will enough to stand. 5’1”, a single mother with 4 children, no child support, and barely spoke English. God gave her severe arthritis, then multiple sclerosis, then lupus, but she refused to stop working. May 2011, her bowel disheveled, she went into cardiac arrest, and she was left in a vegetable state. Doctors said she would not respond; Doctors said there was no hope. Two months later, she smiled; she cried; she laughed. There was nothing more she loved than the company of her family and the company of her two favorite dogs: Joey and Blackie. I remember being angry with her for not going to my graduation because her dog Joey was sick. It was not until she was lying in her hospital bed that I saw her smile at the mention of the name “Joey”. It was not until I held her hand as she cried at the sound of my voice, that I understood her love for me. I lost another deep part of my childhood today… She is no longer in pain, and for that, I am at peace. Te quiero mucho TIa, I’ll see you later when God decides it is time for us to meet again… <3

She dedicated her body to science, I’m so proud.

“Well you can’t get what you want
But you can get me
So let’s set up and see
‘Cause you are my medicine
When you’re close to me.

So call in the submarines
‘Round the world we’ll go.
Does anybody know,if we’re looking out on the day of another dream?”
-On Melancholy Hill- The Gorillaz <3

I would very much like to hug him right now. No words, just hug. It’s a comfort I haven’t felt in a long time. <3

I just walked past someone I used to run to…..
I just averted his eyes, eyes I used to love to look into….
My heart sank, when it used to beat so fast in his presence….
My eyes water; my mind races, like it has for the past 3 months without him..

Not a day goes by, where I don’t at one point think of you.

Today is a day for emotions. Be it good, bad, or neutral. Everyone can attain love; Everyone can see love; Everyone can feel love. It all depends on the glass you put it in, the lens you see it through, and the sensation you wish to feel. We wouldn’t know love without a little pain. When you fell off of your bike, what was the first thing your mom did? She wiped your tears away, dusted you off, kissed you, hugged you, and told you everything would be okay. “Everything will be okay.” One small phrase, one line, but it meant the world. Without pain, we wouldn’t recognize love. What’s that saying? Why do we beat our heads in with a hammer? Because it feels so good when we stop.

Love yourself first. You are the only person that will ever truly love yourself. <3